You're not Painting Enough!
Parallel Lines, Parallel Minds, 2016
You’re not painting enough! This is the self-deprecating mantra that I say over and over to myself in my head. I hear it when I wake up in the morning and take the first hour and half to workout my pointer finger while I scroll through Instagram and Facebook. I hear it when I finally gain the mental energy to transfer my body from my bed to my easel just to stare at my work in progress in disbelief that tiny elfin men didn’t come in the middle of the night and finish it for me. I hear it as I almost subconsciously move through the routine of my weekday that rarely seems to naturally make room for painting at all and during my weekend when I myself rarely seem to naturally make room for painting either. Sometimes I’m at a loss with myself honestly. It’s as if my whole identity has been centered around art that if I’m not doing art, what am I doing? What is my purpose? It’s like I have to not only convince the world that my art is important but also convince myself…And what exactly am I saying?…who am I convincing?…if I’m not painting enough!?
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” - Vincent Van Gogh
Being an artist is hard and I’m not talking about the technique. Like any and every craft, art is a learned skill that can be mastered with time, practice, and dedication. Everyone starts somewhere and whether it’s ahead or behind the others, it’s never at the finish line. What makes art hard is the emotional roller coaster that comes with just being a creative person trying to make a living. The unfortunate illusion is that much of our value and self-worth is determined by how well our artwork turned out that day or if we mixed our skin tones correctly or if we succeeded at drawing the left eye to match the right. When we hit that bump in the process where nothing looks how we expected, we then deem our efforts and our career choices as futile, willing to throw it all away. But then, the complete opposite happens when we’re able to finally work out the kinks in the paper we just balled up and find our inspiration that carries us through to the end with a self and a finished piece that we can be proud of. Depending on how you look at it, art can either be a form of self-destruction or self-care and sometimes it can be both in the same hour.
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt” - Sylvia Path
This part about being an artist isn’t taught in art school or online courses and is usually edited out in art tutorials you find on YouTube. But trust and believe, every artist is and has gone through it. However, your success isn’t determined by how good you feel about yourself, it’s determined by the work that you produce and I was never prepared to face the reality that those two things go hand in hand especially when it came to something I was passionate about, something that I thought was supposed to be “fun”. Truthfully, art isn’t always fun and because of this, the value that we see in ourselves cannot be so fragile. The one thing that you must keep in mind as a creative person and an artist making a living is having belief in yourself and as cliché as it may sound, it is wholesomely true. If you can believe in yourself in the moments when your canvas is blankity-blank, you will be overcoming the hardest part of any project you will ever encounter and that is…STARTING. I struggle with this regularly because in those moments I believe more in the illusion than in myself. The illusion that I’m not good enough, the illusion that I can’t paint well, or I don’t know what I’m doing. Your mind is so powerful and our minds are what control our emotions and drives our actions. Belief is what gets you through the artist blocks, pass the comparisons, and self-deprecating mantras and transcends you into the zone where anything goes.
This is not an easy feat, believe me. But, it is possible and takes practice and discipline just like your own craft does. It’s all just a part of the process.
Here are 5 tips that may help you to get over the hump of disbelief:
Get Inspired - Inspiration can be hard to come by sometimes especially when you're trying hard to look for it. For me, it's more so about having the mindset to be open to receiving inspiration rather than there being a lack of inspiration itself. I usually watch video tutorials from my favorite artists to not only learn from them but also to get into that creative mindset. Taking a walk and immersing yourself in the beauty of nature can bring about a more positive feeling to you overall and help to get your creativity going. Scrolling through Pinterest or Instagram to get some visual ideas on design and color palettes can also help to spark some ideas that you may have not considered on your own.
Set a Time - Schedule out your day to fit in at least 30 minutes of working on a project (set a timer if you have to). This is a way to discipline yourself and get into the habit of creating everyday or as often as possible. This also helps to get over the hump of starting by tricking your mind into thinking that you're only going to work for a short period of time and before you know it, you've entered a zone and a whole hour has passed. It also allows you to schedule in time for yourself to do other things without feeling like you're taking away from the time you could have been spending on your project. I would often feel anxious when doing other things knowing that I didn't paint at all that day or that week and I wouldn't be able to enjoy those other aspects of my life fully. You are more than just an artist, so making time for friends and family and other activities will only feed your creativity, not hinder it.
Set the Mood - Maybe your room or studio is too cluttered or disorganized to the point where you drop your pencil and it disappears or you try to look for a certain type of paint and you have to dig through all these boxes and bins. Organizing and cleaning your space can make a huge difference in your overall mood and enable you to feel more willing to sit and work. You can also put some music on, or turn on your favorite Netflix series in order to ease your mind and make your environment seem less solitary which can also get those creative juices flowing.
DO NOT COMPARE - This is one thing that I cannot stress enough because of how easy it is to fall into the illusion in our current times.The world is filled with amazing artists and creative people, that's never going to change. So, the last thing you want to do is compare yourself to the success stories you see on Instagram and other social media sites or compare your technique to that of another in a way that makes you feel inferior. There is nothing wrong with admiration and inspiration as a way to learn from the people you look up to but when you compare what you have to offer with another, this may lead you to think that you’re not good enough or you have nothing of value to anyone. Art is extremely important in so many ways and with billions of people on this Earth, there will always be someone that you can potentially inspire. You have to believe that you have just as much to contribute to the art world as anyone else and focus on your craft to get it to where you want it to be, not where you think it should be based on another artist's journey. THERE ARE MULTIPLE PATHS TO THE SAME MAIN ROAD.
Rest and Step Away - To piggy-back off of tip #2, taking breaks is imperative to your overall being. I know that art can sometimes include deadlines but if you schedule yourself some time to rest, it will definitely help you in the long run especially if you run into an artist block and feel those self-destructive thoughts coming through. Scheduling your time takes discipline and so does making sure that your schedule is well-rounded. There is absolutely zero benefit in forcing yourself to be creative when your mental energy is depleted and in need of a recharge. So, step away from your piece and rest, get some more inspiration if needed, and come back with a fresh mind.
“There is no ‘right’ way to make art. The only wrong is in not trying, not doing. Don’t put barriers up that aren’t there - just get to work and make something.” - Lisa Golightly